Category Archives: Food

List: Things I Ate Today, Described Pretentiously

“Brunch” Fortified crystals of Asian paddy rice, infused with rich Cote D’Ivoire cocoa and lively coconut oil, bathed in fresh Holstein milk*

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Posted in Food, List | 5 Comments

Review: Caffeine

Caffeine is the credit card of chemicals…it lets you do things you otherwise wouldn’t be able to, but you’ll have to pay off your debt eventually, often with exorbitant interest. I wrote that analogy, feeling all proud of myself, before … Continue reading

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Posted in C, Food | 3 Comments

Review: Reese’s Puffs’ Mixmaster

When you think of Reese’s Puffs*, the cereal that doesn’t even pretend to not be candy, do you immediately think of hip-hop cred? Well, some graphic designer at General Mills clearly does, judging by the back of the cereal box. … Continue reading

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Posted in C, Food, Music | 1 Comment

Review: Burritos I Ate Yesterday

After months of burrito drought, last night I entered a beautiful, beautiful land called Denver, where burritos flow like milk and green chili. My uncle Stan suggested we get one on the way back from the airport, and his taste … Continue reading

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Posted in A, Food | 1 Comment

Review: Hoikkaido Seafood Buffet

Before one high school Homecoming Dance, my friend Tanner and I convinced our remarkably patient dates to accompany us to China King, an all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant. We figured there was no better preparation for a late night of furious dancing … Continue reading

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Posted in C, Food | Comments Off

Review: Yo Rita

From the moment I arrived in Pittsburgh, I’ve had people warn me that there is no good Mexican food to be found. So when my housemates decided to go to a taco restaurant called Yo Rita on the South Side(1120 … Continue reading

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Review: Fat Head’s Saloon

One of the best feelings known to humankind is the sensation of knowing exactly what food one is craving (provided that food is attainable). Recently, three friends and I realized that, given a choice between inner peace, a solid gold … Continue reading

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Posted in B, Food | 4 Comments

Face-Off: French Fries

In elementary school, I had the brilliant idea* to do pizza comparison for a science fair project. My family got five frozen pepperoni pizzas of different brands, and to my nine-year-old eyes this was the most heavenly manna imaginable. I … Continue reading

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Posted in Face-Off, Food | 5 Comments

Review: Flax Plus Pumpkin Raisin Crunch

Flax Plus Pumpkin Raisin Crunch (hereafter referred to as FlaPPR-C) is for people who are of an age where they care more about nutrition than cartoon mascots or prizes inside. Just look at the design.

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Posted in B, Food | 2 Comments

Review: KFC’s Doublicious Sandwich

KFC learned a valuable lesson from the media frenzy that surrounded the Double Down, their greasy, double-pattied, bunless concoction. They learned that a significant portion of the United States likes their fast food like they like their comic villains: purely … Continue reading

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Posted in C, Food | 1 Comment